If you’re searching for a life partner, what values and attributes do you want to see in that individual? That was the question Adam brought to my door. Heading to graduate school in another city, he was a few weeks into an increasingly serious relationship, and he was pondering whether to ask his newfound heartthrob to accompany him.
“OK, so I get that you’re smitten with this lady,” I began. “That’s great, but enjoyable as it is, infatuation clouds perception and judgment. So, I need to press you on how compatible you two really are.”
“Good. That helps, but there’s more. Talk to me about the personal values you want to see in a partner,” I pressed.
Looking for a Compatible Life Partner?
It took some reflection, but Adam replied that he most valued kindness, honesty, self-reliance and optimism. So, of course, I pushed the point. “How many of those values does your would-be partner possess?”
Finding Enduring Attributes
What’s more, he acknowledged he hadn’t given this question much thought, if any; which is the norm for most of us. A recent psychological study demonstrates that many of us fail to assess and contemplate the qualities of those we are courting, even while presuming we are doing just that. Continue reading “Given the brevity of their relationship, he wasn’t sure”